Are you a Migrating Bird?

So I had a dream that I continue to think about even though weeks have passed since I dreamt it. Here is how it goes....

I am a bird, a beautiful bird I might add, flying high over the Amazon Jungle. The trees are tall & swaying in the jungle breeze. The sun is glistening off of the pools & rivers of water that I see. Flying is extraordinary what a way to live!

I decide that I am going to land & hang out in the top of the trees to rest I guess. I never really figured out why I was resting. All of a sudden I hear another bird & I look up. There is a white bird I am not sure of what kind. I only know that he was talking to me & asking me if he could join me, of course I said.

If you haven't noticed my birds, animals, etc....everything talks in my dreams!

Well as this white bird lands in the tree with me to chat I ask him "where are you going?" He replies, I am a migratory bird. A what? A migratory bird, I can only fly one path. In the Winter I fly South & in the Summer I fly North. That is what I do said the white bird. I pondered this & I said, " that is so sad, to be able to fly in the sky but only be able to fly a certain path. Wouldn't that be boring? How could one be so free, but yet held to one path because of instinct? Destiny? Habit?

The dream ended there as I woke up (probably the alarm went off) but it really got me to thinking about how this dream parallels with our lives in the waking world.

We walk around all of our lives kind of like migratory birds. We get into a routine whether it be school, work, the Monday thru Friday grind and we allow day by day to pass by. We continue for the most part to do the same thing & live our life on a path like the migratory bird. I am this way too. Deep within me though
I want to be like the colorful bird in my dream. I want to fly all over, not really having a predestined or instinctual path to follow. I want to enjoy the sights, sounds, & linger over living things I see that are of wonder to me.

I need to step out of my migratory habits & become more like the bird in my dreams to experience life out of my comfort zone. Out of my waking sleep that takes me through the day. I want not just to live but to experience everything so I can soar within my peace & be satisfied.

Will you be a migratory bird or will you soar to new heights?

Finding Balance...& stop using love when you mean hate!

Well, I returned to work about a month ago from being out with my back & now I have let work brainwash me into thinking I am exhausted when I return home so I have let my blogging fall to the wayside.

One note before I get started....don't ever listen to your Dr. if he/she tells you not to go to the Chiropractor. It has been the best experience & he fixed me in three visits. What the Dr was trying to manage with pain meds, now I am almost pain med free with the Chiropractor!!

So, what to talk about. There is so much. In the foremost part of my thoughts are the recent suicides of youth who have been bullied into thinking they are not worth anything & kill themselves. What a shame & what a waste of precious life. I wonder where the "bullier" got their preconceived thoughts from? What helped foster that type of thinking? How did they, the bullier, become so relentless in their bullying tactics it actually cause a human being to feel useless & take his/her own life? Let's look at that one....

I can think of a couple of reasons but without sounding biased myself let's take a general overview to explore. The last thing I want to do is be like the bullier.

In a home where you are raised regardless of a caring or destructive environment you have a tendency to think & build upon what the adults in your home do. So if you hear that being gay is bad, it is a sin, & people like that need to repent & be changed. I can see how you would form an opinion around these ideals & grow to believe this is not an accepted life if someone is like this. Now...here we get to a critical turn in the road. Even though I believe God placed everyone here as they are & doesn't make mistakes it doesn't mean everyone believes this too. Some people believe that being gay is a choice & as we all know who would choose this road to travel? Certainly not me, but moving on...Where does the hate come from??? Is it due to lack of understanding? Is it handed down because of that reason from parent to child? I find it hard to believe that someone would truly believe that God would want them to be that mean to someone & let them kill themselves because they are different. I am sure though, there are those who do believe this. I thought God's greatest command was to love one another. Causing someone to take their own life is not reflective of that law & I am sure there are those who would say to me...maybe it was best that way because he/she could not escape that demon that resided with in them. The sad part is they actually believe that down to their very core.

I am sure you are starting to see a pattern in my thinking at this point. I am not out to point the finger at "Christians", as I claim to be a child of God myself, gay & all. But I do ponder the following thoughts...If someone chooses to have no religion most likely they would not bully on this subject as they believe to each his own. If someone has a foundation of Christ's but they are a welcoming congregation & love as they are commanded by Jesus then these bullies aren't coming from that group either. Even if someone doesn't identify with a church, religion, organization but have their own spiritual beliefs they are not having the "we must change them" speech most likely this hate is not coming from them either. Then the only group left & I am not stating this fact as an "all inclusive" as I said before I am a Christian, but I do believe a strong percentage of this hate bullying is coming from children who hear this in their home. It would be interesting to survey them & see how many go to church every Sunday & how many hear their parents say awful things about LGBTQ children. Also would interest me to see how many pastors preach this hate speech from the pulpit.

We all learn to like & dislike or if I may using even stronger words, to love & hate by the time we are in our early teens. It is what we choose to love & hate that matters. Without going deeper I will stop here as I think most reader will have understood the message I am trying to convey.

If you are guilty of this bullying or teaching your children to bully others just because they are different, stop twisting your words.

• Stop using love when you really mean hate. Example: It is because we love them that we are condemning them & trying to show them the errors of their ways."
• Stop using love when you mean hate: "It is what Jesus states in the Bible". Pick up your Bible & read it, stop taking things for face value your pastor tells you without researching, it's not there.
• Stop using love when you mean hate: "I care about you & want the best for you." Well if you want the best for me then love me the way God made me.

STOP USING LOVE WHEN YOU MEAN HATE!!!!!

I choose to love myself the way that I am & while I should not say it has not always been that way. I have overcome the obstacles in my life. I choose to hate the actions of the very people who are suppose to above all, love one another. Who said...they loved me.

You are valuable, you are unique, important, beautiful, & above all God loves you just the way you are.

Things will get better...I am living proof.

Please email me if you need to chat.

Getting Back in the Groove...Updates, Bicycles, & Spiders!

Well, work has taken all of my focus this week just to get back in the groove. I had wanted to finish up the "dream series" blog that I was writing but until I get back to 100% I think I will put a hold on that. When I do pick it back up it will be with dreams that have came true. I think a good place to start. Until then let me tell you a few short funnies that have happened through out the last two weeks as I love to make people laugh!

So..I am driving down 185th coming back from therapy. I am kind of in la la land as I am on pain meds for my back to begin with so you can imagine my surprise when I see a man on a bicycle crossing the road where he is not supposed to cross. He is trying to cut through traffic in double lanes & we all know how busy 185th is. Him crossing the road incorrectly is not the funny part. The funny part is...now imagine this...he has on the gym short that are elastic (can you see where this is going) and they have slid down to the bottom of his bottom! Cars are slowing down for shock I am sure as I didn't want to see what I saw, but there is was...a full moon shining in the middle of the day & he had no choice but to keep peddling as he needed to get out of the middle of the road! LMAO! As he reached the other side the first thing he did was pull them up!

I can't imagine being him! In the middle of the street knowing your buttocks is showing for all the world to see! I am glad it just didn't slip further! I think I may have needed to go to the next doctor visit which would have been the optometrist! It would have surely put my eyes out!

So moral of the story...just when you think you have witnessed the stranger things in life, something is waiting for you around the corner or should I say crack?

Ok...next funny story....

It is a week night & Cheryl & I are watching TV. I am on the long couch as I was icing my back & she was on the love seat. All of a sudden she ask me do I see that? See what? That huge spider? No! Look at it over here, it is huge! Please remember we are both paralyzed with fear. I slowly move over & holy mother! It is the mother ship of all spiders & I am sure it was looking at us! Cheryl tells me to get the hornet spray as it shoots 20 feet & I am the closet to the kitchen. So stealthily I go & get the spray & the flashlight. I hand the spray to her, we know that she only has this one shot....& she misses! The hornet spray goes all over my plant which is dripping with foam & the spider? Well, he/she whatever it is had high tailed it back up under the entertainment center.

Now we are really petrified knowing he is in the house with us but we can't see him. So, we bravely continue to watch TV & watch for Morgana as I have named the spider. Which was in a fantasy novel I read that she was the largest & evilest of all spiders. Wait....it that Morgana? Why yes...she is venturing out again! Do we miss this opportunity? Yes...she is too fast & ran back under the entertainment center. So for the rest of the night we are done, on eggshells & our nerves are toast.

We never have found that spider....until the next night.....

We are laying in bed & I am exhausted from returning to work so I am right at that point of drifting off to a sleepy slumber. Cheryl is reading a book & just about that time I fade to black...something runs across the top of my chest, close to my throat! Oh My Goodness! I scream! She screams! We grab the covers at the same time & within 1/2 second we are standing the middle of the bedroom floor with a completely stripped bed looking at the mattress. Remember my back is all messed up & moving fast is not in the doctors orders. But there is no spider! What? Then what was it? Then we see what it was flying around the bedroom light a large mosquito. Good Gosh! By now we are both so frazzled & mad we look at each other & almost say at the same time....KILL IT! We needed to squash something as this spider is causing us stress. So Cheryl squashed the mosquito.

Needless to say, it is four days later & we still are walking around looking for Morgana. I am hoping that our wild & crazy Nermal, sweet little kitten that he is has finished him off. But I have no proof, so there still may be a spider among us.

Oh & sad but true the stupid mole in our yard has survived the last attack of fire (see my Mole Wars blog) & there are two new mounds of dirt in our yard. Maybe I should catch the spider & release it in the mole holes hoping he would poison the mole. Only in a perfect world!

Watching Through the Midnight Eye...Part Three

I returned to work today after being off for a month with a herniated disc. The company & the people I work with are exceptional & the transition back is smooth. Thanks to anyone who may read this that has had a part in helping me adjust.

In sticking with my schedule I mentioned in my last blog today I am going to tell you a dream I had several years ago but it is still so vivid today. Depending on how this blog goes I may or may not tell a couple of dreams that came true. Let's get going & see...

This dream intrigues me as I am an animal lover. I love everything from frogs to dogs to bears to snakes. The only thing I struggle with is spiders, but that is another story! In this dream I enter a room that has candles lit. The room is a golden color like that of a chamber. There are extravagant furnishings, paintings, and carpets. The center piece is a huge fireplace where there are two burgundy pillows on each side with two white cats sitting on these pillows. The white cats are Himalayans with beautiful green eyes. The cat on the left speaks to me & says; "what you are looking for lies in there" as he looks towards the fireplace. The cat on the right says; "Enter" & as I am watching the fireplace it opens in half. I find that I am very trusting in dreams where animals talk to me. I never doubt what they tell me to do unlike humans. So I enter into the fireplace & there is a door. I open the door & to my surprise there is a table as long as you can imagine. Like the kind of table you see in a medieval movie. It is huge & gorgeous! The room I remember had a lot of wood. Like wood panels on the wall, the table, high back chairs. This is the best part...at the table sat several different varieties of cats. The were sitting like humans, with clothes on! The clothes were from the 1800's era & the cats were sipping tea. The simply looked at me & asked if I would like to stay & have some tea with them. Sounds like a Led Zeppelin song I know, but that is how the dream happened. So I did & then I woke.

I can't remember how long ago this dream was it has to be in excess of 15 years, but I still can see it in my mind's eye & remember every color & detail.

Why is that? Are there others of you out there that can remember a dream from long ago like that? If so, I would love for you to share. I find this fascinating for all the things I do forget, that I would remember a dream from so long ago. That leads me to wonder what significance it had or has in my life? Or am I simply in love with the dream because of the speaking interaction with the cats?

Ok...I am going to stop there for today & tomorrow will tell you about the dreams that have come true & how I can determine they will before I even have them. These haunt me to this day. Gift or Curse? You decide.

Watching Through the Midnight Eye...Part Two

So in continuing with this Dream Series I would like to share today a recent dream that I have had. Tomorrow will be a dream that I had years ago but is so vivid I could never forget, and then on Monday will be dreams that actually came true. Then within the next few of days we will look at others & their dreams & what they mean.

So buckle up...here we go as we watch through the midnight eye.

In this recent dream I had I am walking along a cobblestone street. I am looking at the building & homes that line the street. Their architecture is Renaissance period with roofs that are pointed like that of a upside down ice cream cone. As I am walking I notice the cobblestone street is tilted towards the right, why everything is tilted in one way or the other. I can't quite understand this. So as I am walking I come to another cobblestone street to my left, but this street is at such an incline that I can't see over the top of where it starts to descend. I am also looking in curiosity because there are streamers attached to flag poles that are different lengths so some are close to the buildings while others extend well out into the path of the cobblestone street. The streamers are also long enough for me to grab. They are beautiful colors and attached to brass rings. I think to myself that if I want to get up this hill to see what is on the other side maybe I could use these streamers, maybe that is why they are here. So I grab the first one & pull myself while I walk up the hill, then another & so on. I am almost at the top almost at the top when the next streamer I need to grab I notice is not only attached to a brass ring but is threaded through to a door bell. I hesitate in grabbing on but I really wanted to make it to the top of the street so I took hold. When I did the door opened & a little old lady that resembled the Ms. Beasley doll came to the door and this is what she asked; "Are you part of any revolt or the Nazi Army?" I said no just trying to get to the top if this street. Then the little old lady stated; "In that case, come in." So I held on to the streamer & climbed her stair into her odd leaning home. As she invited me to sit at her table in the kitchen she was busy getting tea & some type of muffin or cake to eat with it. She stated she needed to get something out of the pantry & would be right back. When she left the room the home begin to tilt, everything moved & I wasn't sure what was happening. But as the home was tilting to the extreme right I noticed that everything she owned was secured. Such as the toaster was attached to the counter, the dish drainer was also attached as if this was a normal way of life for her & the home was equipped to rock back & forth without any destruction of her personal items. When she entered back in the room & smiled at me I awoke.

OK...what was up with that? A tilted town with tilted streets? Streamers on brass rings to assist me with my climb? And a little old lady that looked like my favorite doll when I was a child? The one thing I remember the most is how vivid the colors were. Everywhere colors so rich it was as if they were melting & flowing everywhere. I really would have liked to have finished this dream. At least to see what was at the top on the of the cobblestone street on the other side.

Yesterday my daughter responded with comments from her dream book for the first dream I posted. I am going to have to get a copy of this book. I believe the books interpretation made since. You can see her comment on this blog. I will have to see what she says about this one until I can get the book.

I would love to will myself to go back into this dream in order to finish it or at least continue it. Is that possible? Can we pick up where we have left off? I for one believe that it is as I have done this with other dreams before. What I am not sure of at this time if it is my will that takes me there to pick up where I left off or is it the will of something that is beyond my comprehension. Are there reasons that I may never know until after the fact? Or simply me wanting to play in my sleep with my desires. Something I can ponder.

So until tomorrow...consider the aura around you, consider the things are that felt & not seen, consider what all of it means within your dreams.

Watching Through the Midnight Eye...

How many times have you ever woke up & asked yourself, "What was that dream all about?" Over the course of my life I can't count how many times I have asked that question. Let us explore the Midnight Eye together & maybe this blog will prompt you to reconsider and ponder about what you dream...

I am riding on an elephant with Cheryl, Andrew (our son), and a little baby. Not quite sure who the little baby is. I can feel the elephant's rough skin & hair that is stiff & poky. NOTE: I have rode an elephant in real life so I am sure that helped to make that experience very vivid. We are riding this elephant into town, he is so big so we can't find anywhere to park him. We decide to just go home. So on the way home as we are walking down the main street of this town & the little baby we have make a mess in his diapers. I am freaking out telling Cheryl we have got to find a place to change the baby because it is leaking out of his diapers & I don't want it all over me! As we are looking & making our way down the street I see it is raining but only on the street we are going to cross as we make our way home. So when we get to this cross street I tell the elephant to please stop & I whip off the baby's diaper & sling it towards a trash can I see on the corner of the street. Needless to say, I missed it & it was quite a gross mess. I picked the baby up & held him out over the side of the elephant & let the rain wash him off until he was clean. Then I awoke & that was the end of the dream.

What does all of this mean? Why am riding an elephant? Why is it raining only on the cross street? And why am I washing a baby in the rain? Well...we know why because he was filthy with poop. But why in that manner? Strange.

It is so very interesting to me how my mind conjures up these dreams. Whether it be from life experiences, books I have read, movies I have watched . What about the dreams though that are of people I have never seen? or places I have never been? Experiences I have never had? I find these dreams even more fascinating as I love to dream.

There was a time in my life when I was plagued with nightmares. Sometimes I still have them & they are very real to me. Real because some of my dreams have came true. At first I thought this was a curse as my grandmother had the same gift, but now I try to use it as a tool to understand & possibly see something that is simply not visible to the naked eye. For example...

Years ago I dreamt that I was floating above an operating table. I could see the doctors working feverishly over me & at first I could not figure out why. Then I realized that I was dead. The doctors were trying to revive me. Emotionally I didn't feel sad in the dream that I had died I was just observing to see if they would bring me back to life or should I say God would bring me back to life. I believe the doctors are only the instruments He uses. I never did find out the answer as I awoke. I didn't put too much thought into this dream. It was kind of stuck in the back of my mind for a few days but then it went away or so I thought. Exactly two weeks to the day that I had that dream which I had shared with others at that time I awoke with an awful stomach ache. I didn't want to wake anyone in the home as I thought it was silly to do so for a tummy ache, but it kept getting worse & worse. So four hours later I did tell someone & off to the hospital we went. To make a long story short...I had appendicitis which had already ruptured within me. Peritonitis had set in & I had to be taken into emergency surgery. They cut me open (the scar they left is 7" long & hideous) you can tell they were in a hurry. I died on the operating table while they were trying to cleanse my internal organs. They had to jump start me with the paddles & only then did I come back to life after being technically dead for 4 minutes. Well...there is the ending to my dream.

So I guess you can understand why I put value into the dreams I have & I have to filter through which ones mean something & which ones are for fun. I can remember my dreams all the way back to my childhood as they have always been a huge part of my life. I even tried to escape them several times but now I have grown to accept them & the place they hold in my life.

I think I am going to start a small blog series with this & delve into some of my dreams, some of the famous people who have been led by their dreams, & also people from the Bible who Jesus has led with their dreams. I am always open to learning & maybe this will help. I also hope you as an audience will find this read particularly interesting.

Well, until the next Dream Blog Part 2...start watching through your minds eye.

Victory in the Mole Wars!

So this is a second part blog to Mole Wars if you want the whole story.

My father in law was visiting over the Labor Day Weekend & we had a wonderful time. However, he shared various stories with Cheryl & I on how to exterminate moles. Cheryl, taking the DIY attitude I saw was listening intently to her dad. I never thought any more of the various ways to get rid of the moles he had mentioned as I had sent an email off previously to the pest control guy & was awaiting his reply. Until....

The next morning it was my turn to fix breakfast so as I am in the kitchen getting ready the bacon & french toast as I see my beautiful Cheryl outside on the deck. At first I didn't think anything about it as she goes out there & shovels up the dirt that the stupid little rodent has left & fills the hole in. If you read the previous journal blog you will see we have tried everything from flooding to poison & nothing worked.

As I am cooking, I turn to get a cup of coffee & I see Cheryl with a lighter fluid can & the long stick lighter.) Oh my gosh!!! What is she doing I thought!!! But it was too late as she knew I would flip my lid. She had already poured the lighter fluid down the holes & ignited the fire! I shouted out her name & she turned to me with that mischievous childish grin. I said "what do you think you are doing?" & she replied calmly "getting rid of the mole." I tried to explain how the fire could have followed the lighter fluid out of the hole & she should have had someone there, but she just said that I wouldn't have let her done it & she really wanted to. Oh Boy!

Well, everything was said & done....now we wait...

It is been five full days since Cheryl decided to take matters into her own hands & become the official mole exterminator of our home. I believe she accomplished her mission as we have seen no moles in this last five days. That's my baby!!! Always making me catch my breath (both good & bad) but then coming out smelling like a rose. It is one of those things I love about her so much. She views things in an adult way but has this child-like way about her, innocent & pure. I believe it is what protects her & keeps her safe even when she is lighting fire down in the mole holes!